Navigating Career Shifts, Anxiety, and Owning My Worth
From Classrooms to Corporate: A Journey of Career Change, Imposter Syndrome, and Growth
The Journey Begins: Teaching Moon Phases to Talking Cialis and Panic Attacks
Let’s start with a fun fact: I went to the University of Delaware (go Blue Hens!) to study elementary education and middle school science. I thought I’d be shaping young minds, helping future generations understand the intricacies of weather patterns and moon phases. Instead, two years into my teaching career, I found myself trying to figure out why I was being told to intentionally pass a student who had spectacularly failed summer school. This, my friends, was the tipping point.
Between the low paycheck and the necessity of paying off those “necessary” student loans, I had a revelation: Teaching wasn’t the lifelong career for me. Enter Plan B, which was essentially “find something, anything, that can pay the bills.” That something was pharmaceutical sales at Eli Lilly, and yes, one of the products in my portfolio was Cialis.
Teaching teenagers about the lunar cycle? Check. Convincing doctors about erectile dysfunction meds? Sure, why not. Sounds like the logical next step.
But, oh boy, did I hate it. Sales was NOT my thing. The limited confidence I had in myself dwindled into nothing. I was suddenly surrounded by people who had fancy houses, while I was commuting from my parents' place, still driving my trusty Nissan Sentra. There’s nothing quite like feeling like you’re in over your head when your co-workers have swimming pools, and you’re living the millennial dream of crashing with mom and dad.
The only silver lining? I didn’t have much time to wallow. My contract ended, and I dove even deeper into the medical sales world. Because clearly, what I needed was more pressure and less sleep…
Enter LifeCell, where I sold products used in breast reconstruction and hernia repair. AKA: I helped surgeons fix massive wounds by teaching them how to use regenerative matrices. Super cool, right? Well, teaching doctors how to perform surgery wasn’t as exhilarating as it sounds when your brain is screaming, “Who am I to tell a doctor anything?”
This is where imposter syndrome and I got REAL close. My job had me waking up at 3 a.m., driving all over the tri-state area, and by the end of the day, I had panic attacks so intense they nearly ruined my relationship. Thankfully, the universe heard me and eliminated my position during a lovely “mandatory” Friday conference call. I was now engaged and had just booked a wedding venue—timing was just spectacular.
The Risky Decision: Turning Down a Six-Figure Paycheck
I could’ve immediately grabbed a new job within the same company, with a paycheck that would have made most people drool. But in a shocking twist of events, I said no. Yup, I turned down a six-figure salary because my anxiety wasn’t worth it. Am I crazy? Maybe. But I knew I needed a job that wouldn’t send me into daily panic spirals.
To most people, the idea of turning down that kind of money sounds absurd. But I did just that. The toll this job had taken on my mental health made me pause and I knew my anxiety wasn’t worth the money. I had to find something I actually liked, something that wouldn’t break me. When I turned down that lucrative offer, it wasn’t just about saying “no” to money—it was about saying “yes” to myself and my well-being.
From OR’s to Dental Sales and a Pandemic that Changed My Sanity
Enter: My big brother :). When discussing my current employment conundrum, he suggested I join the dental company he worked for, which I eventually did after getting my feet wet in separate dental company (in order to gain dental experience). Once in the role at the company my brother worked for, I enjoyed it- for a time. I learned project management skills, managed demanding personalities, and created training materials. After relocating to South Carolina for a promotion, I couldn’t shake the feeling I was drowning in office politics and stench-filled bathrooms.
Then, 2020 happened. Cue COVID and the glorious rush (panic) to working from home. Suddenly, I was thriving professionally while personally navigating the storm that was my infertility journey (a blog for another time). Despite the chaos, working from home was a blessing in disguise. No more office drama, just me, some laundry, and a side of Downton Abbey playing in the background to keep me sane.
After finally overcoming infertility and giving birth, I came back from maternity leave with a newfound drive to expand myself professionally. I wanted growth, opportunities, and to do more. However, one senior leader squashed that fire with three words I’ll never forget: “Just be complacent.”
Let’s get something straight—I do not do complacency. When I say I’m someone who gives 100% to every task, I mean it. Whether it’s teaching middle schoolers, learning the ins and outs of medical devices, or just navigating office politics—I’m all in. I don’t half-ass anything, even if the task is something I don’t love. It’s not about showing off; it’s about proving to myself that I can do it, do it well, and grow to do more. So, I took that as a cue to start looking elsewhere.
Creating My Own Criteria: The Job Boxes That Needed Checking
If I was going to move from a stable position (well… I recently learned it wasn’t stable at all because that division was just eliminated… so…) I realized I had to be extremely intentional about my next move. I knew exactly what I wanted in a role, and I wasn’t going to settle for anything less. Here’s the checklist I created:
No sales: I was done with that life.
Education: I wanted to be in a role where I could educate others.
Teamwork: No more being on an island—I needed to collaborate with people who had my back.
Growth Opportunities: I wanted to learn new skills and have actual support to advance my career.
No Power-Hungry Assholes: Yep, this was a top priority.
A Manager Who Wasn’t a Nightmare: Someone supportive but not overbearing.
A Positive Work Environment: No more office drama and two-faced coworkers.
Unique Experiences and Opportunities: I wanted to do meaningful work that excited me.
Work-Life Balance: The mental toll of my previous jobs wasn’t something I was willing to repeat.
Family connections came through again (thanks, sister-in-law!), and I found the job I’m in now—one that checks all the boxes. I get to educate, work with a team, learn new skills, and (best of all) avoid sales (mostly). The transition was a breath of fresh air. I went from surviving to thriving, and even though the corporate world still throws its challenges my way (politics and all), I am grateful every single day for the path I chose.
Imposter Syndrome: The Unwelcome Co-Pilot
But even in this new role that I was extremely selective about, imposter syndrome never really leaves. It had/has a sneaky way of showing up in every role I’ve ever taken. “Who am I to educate a doctor? Who am I to have an opinion in X industry? I’m just a teacher… just a woman… just me.” It’s the same tape that plays over and over.
The truth is, I still don’t know how to fully conquer imposter syndrome. The difference now is that I’ve learned to (as Walt Disney famously said) “keep moving forward”, even when I don’t feel 100% confident. Even when I feel unsure, I take the next step.
I remind myself of something a presenter once said to me during a seminar back in my pharma days: "If you meet the Queen of England, remember that it’s her honor to meet you." It’s a funny way to think about it, but it’s true—you are worthy. It’s not about feeling like you deserve the world handed to you on a silver platter, but about recognizing that your skills and experiences have value. And it’s OK to own that.
What I’ve Learned and What I Still Am
Here’s my advice: Advocate for yourself, always. Don’t be afraid to leave a stable job if it’s not serving you. And be proud of the work you put out into the world—no matter how small or insignificant it might seem at the time- whether it’s a lesson plan, a presentation, or a blog post.
My journey isn’t over. I battle imposter syndrome every day, but I know that as long as I keep showing up, pushing myself, and doing my best, I’m moving in the right direction.There’s always a chance the rug will get pulled out from under me again. But this time, I’m ready. I’m far better equipped to advocate for myself and my needs than I was when this roller coaster started- and so are you. If you take anything away from this, let it be this: Life is a work in progress, and you are in control of one very important thing—yourself.
If you’ve read this far, know that it’s my honor to have you here. You are valued, and this is the first place where you can remember that you are worthy.
You’re Doing Great,
Samantha
