The Beauty in Broken Dreams

How Life’s Setbacks Shape Our Strongest Selves

I Burnt My Pot Roast

There’s something about the first cool fall evening that calls for a warm, savory meal, something comforting, like a classic pot roast. I had carefully selected the recipe, set aside a good chunk of my evening, and visualized the perfect, cozy family dinner. After meticulously searing the roast, adding just the right spices, and arranging the vegetables with love, I put the lid on the Dutch oven and set the timer. Two hours later, as I lifted the lid in anticipation of the culinary masterpiece that awaited, I was met with the unmistakable sight (and smell) of burnt pot roast. It was charred beyond salvage—my dreams of tender, melt-in-your-mouth beef crushed in one swift whiff. My expectations, along with my dinner, were toast. I made a quick trip to Publix for fried chicken and a bag of salad, and we laughed our way through dinner. The pot roast may have been a disaster and continued confirmation that I need to work on my culinary skills, but the story it left us with was priceless. Sometimes, unmet expectations become treasured memories—especially when crispy fried chicken comes to the rescue. Nom nom nom.

Wedding Woes and Gallbladder Blows

Like many, I imagined my wedding day as the pinnacle of romance, an idyllic event filled with nothing but love, joy, and laughter. And, for a while, it was. The ceremony was beautiful, the decor just as I’d planned, and as the cocktail hour began, I was sure the day would be everything I’d dreamed of. Then, life decided to add its own “twist” to my story. Just as my husband and I joined our guests for the reception, a sudden and debilitating gallbladder attack struck. No amount of wishing or willpower could change my reality: I was stuck in silent agony, watching as my loved ones enjoyed the food, drinks, and dance floor I’d so carefully planned for everyone, including myself. Meanwhile, my husband took to the bar with a level of enthusiasm usually reserved for fraternity reunions, and after a few too many celebratory shots, he, too, was far from the dashing groom I’d envisioned. I found myself marveling at the irony: the fairy-tale wedding I’d planned had taken a hilariously unexpected turn. And while the day didn’t go as I had hoped, it became one of my favorite stories—a reminder that sometimes, the best memories come from the moments that don’t go according to plan.

The Unexpected Career Change

From the time I was young, I was told that I was born to be a teacher. With a passion for helping others and a degree in middle school science, I envisioned a long, fulfilling career in the classroom. In fact, in one of my last seminars at college (go, Blue Hens!) I distinctly remember listening to professor say “more than 50% of you won’t be teachers in the next 5 years.” This immediately made me think of two things: (1) That 50% is a failure and (2) I won’t be in that half.

But after two years as a middle school science teacher, the reality of the job was not what I had expected. Between the low pay with looming student loans and being forced to bow to irrational parents and administrators me question if this was really the path I was meant to follow. Despite the nagging feeling that I should “stick it out,” and not be the “failure” I setup in my head, I ultimately decided to leave teaching and move into sales—a decision that surprised everyone, myself included. Transitioning from teenagers to clients wasn’t what I had envisioned (although surprisingly not as big a lift as I initially thought…), but it opened doors I never would have found otherwise. I discovered strengths in myself that I didn’t know I had, and I developed skills that would serve me for the rest of my career. Sometimes, unmet expectations push us in a new direction, one we never would have considered, but one that turns out to be exactly where we’re meant to be.

The Journey to Parenthood: A Road of Twists and Turns

Parenthood was something I assumed would come easily—until it didn’t. Like many hopeful parents, I thought I’d get pregnant quickly and without complication. Instead, my husband and I found ourselves on a two-year rollercoaster through infertility treatments, three IUIs, IVF, and a miscarriage before we welcomed our daughter. The journey was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through, filled with frustration, heartbreak, and an endless series of unmet expectations. Each cycle that failed, each treatment that didn’t work, and each loss along the way taught me the importance of resilience and the beauty of hope. Our daughter’s arrival was all the sweeter for the struggle it took to get there.

When we decided to try for a second child, I believed that, after everything we’d been through, we were prepared for any challenge. But the universe, as it often does, had other plans. This time, our journey ended with a failed transfer and, devastatingly, an ectopic pregnancy—a rare complication affecting less than 3% of IVF patients. The experience was traumatic and heartbreaking in ways I could never have anticipated. But it taught me that life’s hardest lessons are often the ones that leave the most lasting impact. Through it all, I’ve learned that unmet expectations aren’t a measure of failure; they’re a measure of strength. And while I may not have gotten the outcome I’d hoped for, the journey taught me that I am capable of more than I ever believed.

Unmet Expectations in Today’s Political Climate

In today’s politically charged climate, unmet expectations are a common experience. It’s not uncommon to feel disappointed when the candidate we support doesn’t win or when the policy we believe in doesn’t pass. But rather than allowing unmet expectations to foster resentment or anger, I believe there’s a powerful opportunity for growth in these moments. If we don’t understand why someone would vote a certain way or support a certain policy, it’s our responsibility to ask why. We can’t foster understanding by dismissing those who don’t share our views; we can only bridge the divide by seeking to understand them. In a world where respectful, open dialogue feels increasingly rare, unmet expectations in politics can serve as a reminder that change starts with each of us. Instead of generalizing or making assumptions, we can use our disappointment as an opportunity to engage in thoughtful conversations, to ask questions, and to listen. In doing so, we not only grow as individuals, but we contribute to a culture of mutual respect and understanding.

The Mental Health Benefits of Flexibility

When life doesn’t go according to plan, our first instinct is often to feel frustrated, disappointed, or even defeated. But over time, I’ve learned that the ability to adjust our plans and expectations can have profound benefits for our mental health. Learning to let go of rigid expectations and embrace the unexpected can lead to a deeper sense of contentment, resilience, and self-confidence. Instead of feeling like we’ve failed or channel a “victim” mindset when things don’t go as planned, we can see each twist as an opportunity to learn and grow. When we accept that life will always have surprises, we free ourselves from the burden of perfection and allow ourselves to find joy in the journey, no matter where it leads.

Unmet expectations will always be a part of life, but they don’t have to be a source of disappointment. Instead, they can be the starting point for new opportunities, new strengths, and new perspectives. Whether it’s a burnt batch of cookies, an unanticipated career change, or rain on your wedding day, life’s twists and turns remind us that we are capable of adapting, growing, and finding joy in the journey.

So the next time things don’t go as planned, remember: sometimes, the best memories and the greatest lessons come from the moments we never expected.

You’re Doing Great,

Samantha